I smile as I pass by. When asked how I am, I reply “good”
because I have learned people don’t really want to know the answer. They can’t
see the knife jabbing behind my right eye, or the hammer pounding on my
temples. From the outside, I look normal, some may even envy me. I am a young
mother with a handsome hard working husband. I am slim, employed, well dressed,
I may look like I have it all. They don’t see me laying in the dark, with an
ice pack on my head. They don’t see that I can’t take my daughter to the
playground or that I had to cancel plans with a friend for the second time. The
pain is relentless. I hate what it gives-migraines, vomiting, fatigue, body
aches and more. But most of all I hate what it takes. It takes my freedom. It
takes away weddings and birthday parties; work opportunities and friendships;
confidence and happiness. Will it ever stop, will it ever go away? Hasn’t it
taken away enough? What is it like to wake up pain free, to feel uninhibited
and free?
